Oct 21 2008
But Angela is a Boy?
Return To Sleepaway Camp (2008) ????? - Sleepaway Camp is one of my favorite bad film classics. I’ve seen it more than an human rightly should. It was my friends and I’s Rocky Horro Picture Show. We would sit and watch this cinematrocity over and over and over and over again. Just marvelling at the crazy cloths, pumped up hairdos (and don’ts) the very special turn on a time acting style and all the out of site sick characters. For a movie about kids this was fool of Homosexuals, greasey old men shacking up with young woman, and the greasiest of all the camp cook who leared at all the 12 years old as they hopped off the bus for the summer. We finally ended up with a running routine for the movie and recorded it. A Riff Tracks. MST3K before there was a such thing. But its long gone. A lot of people love the sequels, but I only think they are okay at best and really don’t hold a candle to the original. Here we have the original film’s writer, director Robert Hiltzik taking the reigns again and he delivers another movie that is straight from the planet only he lives on. Without a doubt this movie is terrible. Completely and insanely terrible. But it is forehead slapping, laugh out loud, so bizarrely terrible that you can’t take your eye off it. How or why the decisions made throughout the movie were thought to be a good idea are so unfathomable that it just becomes immensily enjoyably to watch this play out in a cruel way. Maybe it takes a little masochism (and sadism too) to appreciate it. The story takes place 25 years later and Camp Arawak has reopened under a new name and new owners except for Ronnie (Paul DeAngelo the speddo wearing muscle head form the first film). Apparently the kids here are all from penitentiaries or something because they are the worst behaved, most sadistic, mutated, mean spirited, spiteful little fuck ups EVER to grace a movie screen. The main character is a fat, greasy, troll named Alan is introduced picking on littler kids, cursing people out, pulling girls hair and generally being an asshole.Yelling his catch phrase of “you’re Ass Stinks” at everyone. But as the movie progresses we are supposed to become sympathetic to him because everyone else in the movie is a BIGGER asshole than him. They all pick on him, and I mean ruthlessly. Almost every remaining frame of film is taken up with someone fucking with Alan in some way and him cursing and screaming at them. The movie becomes almost like primal therapy as we watch this kid be tormented. There is one scene where the entire camp gets him alone in the woods and cut loose on him with paintball guns that made feel a twinge of pain…for the actor! Those shits hurt like motherfucker and they lit him up hundreds ofd times and shot in slow motion too! Yikes. I hope that kid god a klondike bar. But the problem is that he is set up to be such a jerk from the get go, that you don’t really feel all that bad for him. I give the actor Michael Gibney credit for playing such a total fuckin spaz. He goes all out. Oh yeah there is someone killing people too, but its almost an after thought to people picking on Alan. The kills are retarded to the max and stretched out for suspence, but sre just silly. Only the last two kills on the movie once we know who it is are effective at all. Though the stick in the eye is hilarious because the kid was so fucking stupid. It is also painfully obvious who the killer is from the get go. And to those who loved the cop with the electrical tape mustache in the original film (I know I do!) there is a cop in this one with a just a ludicrous paste on beard that will have you howling. But it at least plays into the movie. Felisa Rose and Johnathan Teirstan make appearances in their original roles as well. There is one other really impressive kill involving a literal bed of nails that is almost worth the whole wait. I’m sure I’ve done a piss poor job of describing how bizarre of bad this movie is, but it is also one of the better times I’ve had watching a movie in a while.
5 years from now I’ll still remember the skinned frogs. I swear that will just stay with me for some unknown reason.