Sep 25 2008
Painting with Blood
Canvas Of Blood (199?)** -Wow this thing isn’t even on the IMDB! This second feature on the Dark Angel: Psycho Kickboxer DVD is pretty rote by normal movie standards. But looked at on the ultra no budget level kind of movie standard, there is something kind of charming about it. Sure its boneheaded, paced badly and the action scenes are of the non-action variety, but the fact that it takes the entire first half to set up characters has something to be said for it. For some viewers that something would be BORING! But I found it kind of enjoyable and interesting. The story involves a Vietnam veteran who lost his hand back in Nam who is raising his teenage daughter alone. She is a violin virtuoso and looks to take the music world by storm, if her lunkhead boyfriend doesn’t force her into making the beast with two backs first. But when she has to have emergency surgery and the drunk as fuck surgeon ends up pretty much taking off her entire hand, tragedy ensues. Add to that that her dickhead boyfriend takes this as his cue to finally snatch up her unwilling vagina as his touchdown victory (thankfully this violation is off screen). Then the fucker kills her dog too! This set up is the first forty-five minutes of the movie, so when pops finally has enough and his daughter has gone catatonic, the law has proven useless (their long haired lawyer AND the judge were on the take) he straps on a few murderous gadgets on his stump, then its killing time! There’s no gore, the action would make The Guy From Harlem wince, and there is only one scene of nudity and you’ll be beggin those bitches to put their clothes back on. There’s no good reason for me to like this movie. The actors are either on valum or seem like they are from a car sales commercial, the direction is non existent. But I liked it all the same. I think I have brain damage.
