Sep 20 2008
Potpourri of Sleaze
Blood & Sex Nightmare (2006) ** - Shot on DV sleaze/horror that tries very hard to please, ultimately delivers exactly what the title promises. It is silly, bloody and fully of nudity. The story is about a young couple who go to a retreat for “adults only” aka a swingers retreat, even though the girl refuses to get busy with the dude. At this camp grounds for sexual craziness some ghost is killing off the naughty campers in semi gory ways leading our heroine to start having nightmare and a psychic link to the killer. Lots of chicks get more naked than your used to for this kind of flick (an abundance of shaved beaver shots and beyond abound) and genre stalwart Tina Krause gets completely nude and is on the receiving end of a particularly nasty vagina mutilation. A goofy old groundskeeper clearly based on the Crazy Ralph character from Friday the 13th makes a very hot naked girl in pigtails do jumping jacks and tells our lead couple that “if you want a threesome to come to me, I have a ten inch dick, for real!“. Lily St. Clair is the pre-credits victim and she has the nicest breasts with the most incredible poke your eye out nipples I have seen in many a moon. The movie takes a few interesting turns such as having the ghost speak Japanese, and basing the religious beliefs used to fight it in Shinto as opposed to the standard old Christianity. But then again it roles out the standard old bugaboos like teen victims too. One scene has an incest thing going on with a laugh track clearly ripping off (oh, sorry homage) Natural Born Killers which doesn’t work at all. In the liner notes the kid who directed this says that “this and movies of its ilk are no longer his cup of tea!” whatever that means! Then I’ll be glad to take the residual checks in that case! Blood And Sex Nightmare is better than a lot no budget shot on video backyard pieces of crap that try top tap the sleaze horror market (Amatuer Porn Star Killer anyone? Anyone?) But it still is only fair at best.
Alphabet City (1984) *1/2 - You want to see an 80’s movie in excess? This is it. A movie that cries out for a realistic interpretation that gets smothered in the mid 80’s neon glow, horrid soundtrack and extreme miscasting thus blowing what potential is there. It starts off momentarily okay when we meet our main character an early twenties drug runner played by walking cardboard Vincent Spano. The first scene introduces the “normal” side of his life. His normal artist girlfriend (who we see repairing a motorcycle -cue to mean that will play into the climax at some point) and their baby. There is a sweet moment when he is doing pull ups with the baby strapped to his body so he can be close to her. A nice touch. Then it cuts to a terrible synth score (by Niles Rogers- This score is probably why Duran Duran stopped using him as a producer!) and the obligatory montage of our hero getting ready for his night on the town, with mesh shirt, studded wristbands, leather jacket, he looks like the leather boy from The Village People. When he gets out on the street and meets his main pusher and best friend, I knew this movie was bound for shitsville. Because the dude was played by Police Academy’s Michael Winslow, with all the subtly that you would expect him to bring to such a role. The plot has our hero stuck in a bind because he is being forced to torch a tenement building for the mob boss. Problem being that it is the building his Mom and slut sister live in. So the movie is our dude basically trying to call in his debts and drug money so he can get his family out of town because he has no intention of doing the deed and knows that spells death for him. Pretty serious stuff and not a bad story really. Its the 80’s stylistic excess that burns the movie down faster than the building that is going to be torched. The movie is stylized more than the worst episode of Miami Vice, with characters that couldn’t have been realistic, even back then. The only scene that rings semi true is a visit to a heroin shooting gallery that has various nodding junkies littering the place and a line of awaiting addicts filtering in to get their fix. Its like a scene from a different movie. There is also an effective sex scene towards the end that is surprisingly touching and well handled. But I’m not even getting started on the climax with that motorcycle. Surprisingly this is directed by Amos Poe who directed the punk touchstone film The Blank Generation. But then it makes more sense if you realize he is more well known for directing the music video for Animotion’s “Obsession”. this doesn’t hurt too bad though, I bought it for $3.00 at Odd Lots. Another odd thing about this movie is the look of the film. It seems like it was tampered with on DVD. Everything has a deep purple and pink cast to it. If you watch the trailer on the DVD it is much grittier looking and the colors seem less overblown and intense. The tell tale moment is a shot of Jamie Gertz putting on lipstick. In the movie it is almost purple. In the trailer it is red. This weirdo filtering definitely impacts the finished movie.
Cannibal Doctor (1999) *1/2 Dinner for Two (2000) ** - Both of these are part of the Kinky Cannibal Double Feature put out by Seduction Cinema to try and capitalize on the back catalog of Factory 2000 titles feature a young Misty Mundae. Both of these films were fetish production shot by Bill Hellfire and crew, starring Misty and Tina Krause and revolving around the cannibalism fetish. The kicker being that apparently people who have a fetish for cannibalism, don’t actually get off on the idea of eating people, so much as the whole preparation of people as food. So both these films are all about the tricking of someone into becoming a meal, the “tenderizing” and finally cooking. The first movie, Cannibal Doctor features Hellfire as a goofball doctor and his shrewish wife (played by Krause) plan to trick a girl into becoming their feast. Seems that they have figured out that cannibalism keeps them young. So in comes Misty Mundea for a job application and into the examining room she goes. For the next forty-five minutes or more she is examined. Most of the time just the doctor touching her legs. She doesn’t end up nude probably until the forty five minute mark or more. This is where the whole fetish movie for the direct customer thing is important. These movies were not made for general consumption but for a specific customer who paid money to have them made. He gave Hellfire and company the money and a list of specific things they had to do in the movie. They could build a movie around those things. The cannibal fetish motif being one of those things. I’m sure the whole leg fetish was there too because sooooo much of the movie is about it. Eventually Misty is drugged, tied up rubbed down with baby oil, and “cooked” in the doctors X-Ray room. The cooking is simply just a red light and some sizzling sounds. We don’t see her get eaten. The only thing to recommend this outside of the fetish material is that both Misty and Tina Krause give decent performances. They really jump in and go for it. Tina especially is tearing up the scenery playing a royal bitch. Misty plays the exact opposite, naive to the point of almost stupid girl who gets more than she bargained for. Dinner For Two is a remake of the same movie, apparently for the same customer, who had some additional things he wanted added. This time there is a heavy tickling fetish, so the girls are stripped naked and tickled by hand or with feathers to “tenderize” them. There is more nudity this time. Tina Krause’s character is way less of a bitch and played more for laughs. I’m willing to bet the buyer found her to be too threatening and a turn off the first go round. Not surprisingly she is in on the action this time, trussed up, tickled and cooked as well as Misty. The final cooking is a little less brutal and more food oriented with apples in the mouth and other garnishing. But the movie’s main thrust is still the examination of the prey and it takes forever. If it isn’t your fetish, you will be leaning on the fast forward. In fact unless you are die hard fans of Misty Mundae, Tina Krause or into the whole fetish thing, this is pretty dull stuff. Probably for collectors only. the trailers for the other Factory 2000 stuff is for more disquieting, which leads me to ask, where is the DVD releases for The Infamous Bondage Murders 1&2? Those things look disturbing as hell
01:59:17
2008-09-20
